.Editor's Details: The complying with is the content of a character coming from Exploration 3 Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reviewing the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not created very much concerning specifics of this particular purpose in the course of the month I've been right here, mostly for pair of factors: the 1st being that there has been extremely little time to accomplish that kind of composing, as well as the second thing is considering that I am actually uncertain exactly how comfortable I am actually discussing ideas I show family and friends with the remainder of the globe.Effectively, definitely the planet transformed today. What I say or even carry out is extremely small matched up to the significance of what happened to our nation today when it was actually attacked through ... by whom? Terrorists is all we understand, I suppose. Challenging to recognize at whom to point our rage and anxiety ...I had merely finished an amount of activities this morning, the absolute most taxing being actually the physical examinations of all staff members. In a private conversation following that, the tour cosmetic surgeon told me they were actually possessing an incredibly bad time on the ground. I possessed no tip ...He illustrated the circumstance to me as ideal he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually dumbfounded, then frightened. My 1st thought and feelings was that this wasn't an actual conversation, that I was actually still paying attention to among my Tom Clancy strips. It merely really did not appear achievable on this scale in our country. I could not even picture the details, also prior to the updates of more damage started being available in.Vladimir came fairly promptly, picking up that one thing extremely significant was being gone over. I swung Michael right into the component also. They were also astounded and also stunned. After our company signed off, I made an effort to detail to Vladimir and Michael as absolute best I might the possible enormity of this show of fear in downtown Manhattan as well as at the Government. They clearly comprehended and were actually really thoughtful.I eyed the Globe Chart on the computer system to find where over the globe our team were as well as noticed that our company were actually coming southeast out of Canada as well as would certainly be overlooking New England in a few mins. I zipped around the station till I discovered a home window that will provide me a scenery of NYC and nabbed the nearby electronic camera. It took place to be a camera, as well as I was appearing southern from the home window of Michael's cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to have a weird blossom to it at the bottom of the column that was actually streaming south of the urban area. After checking out among the news articles our experts simply got, I think our experts were actually taking a look at NY around the amount of time of, or shortly after, the collapse of the 2nd tower. Just how terrible ...I swung the cam the whole time the East Coastline to the south to see if I could see some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, however nothing showed up.It was actually quite difficult to deal with work after that, though our team had some to carry out, yet on the upcoming track our experts moved across the United States additional southern. All 3 people were actually working a couple of cams to make an effort to acquire sights of The big apple or Washington. There was haze over Washington, but no details source can be found. Everything appeared awesome from 2 to 3 hundred miles away. I can not think of the heartbreaking scenes on the ground.Aside from the emotional impact of our nation being tackled and 1000s of our citizens and also possibly some buddies being actually killed, the absolute most overwhelming sensation being where I am actually is among solitude.Next time ... I suppose the fatigue as well as mental strain received the most effective of me. I couldn't remain awake and also continue to compose. Today was actually still challenging, but our experts began acquiring additional relevant information, plus we possessed the tribute of speaking directly with the Center Director, Roy Estess, who guaranteed us that the ground teams would remain to function as well as guarantee our protection, and also the risk-free operation of the Place. Our company likewise spoke with our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, that included that the partners in the Course are all absolutely devoted to continuing risk-free procedures and assistance. These were certainly never concerns for me. I know all these individuals! The ground crews have been incredibly encouraging, quite understanding of the impact of the updates, and also have actually tried to be as useful as feasible. They have all been actually incredibly expert as well as centered though I can't visualize the distraction of this form of information can be found in and the thought and feelings that federal government properties could be vulnerable. They certainly never bypassed a beat, also when relocating nerve center. And also a group of elderly workers and close friends provided our team a fairly complete instruction about what was actually known and also what was being actually carried out in the government and also at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually quite handy and also kind of all of them to carry out in the midst of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has also been supporting as well as practical, making an effort to uplink newspaper article when our own assets were inoperable, and mentioning kind phrases ...My crewmates have actually been fantastic, also. They understand it is actually been actually a difficult day for me and also the people on the ground, as well as they have actually attempted to become as even keeled and useful as possible. Michael also fixed me my beloved Borscht soup for supper. As well as they offer me loads of area to think when I required it. They are really supportive and also of course shocked at whoever would certainly perform this.I recognize so many people in Washington, a lot of individuals who journey to DC as well as New York City, so many who are aviators, that I experienced certain I will obtain at the very least a handful of pieces of problem over the following couple of times. I obtained the very first one today when I knew that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that struck the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I found Chic during the course of cadet summer season when our team resided in the D&B with each other, and also our experts possessed bunches of courses all together. I can not visualize what he needs to of undergone, and also now I listen to that he may have risen even more than our team can easily also think of by potentially preventing his aircraft from being actually the one to deal with the White Property. What a dreadful reduction, yet I ensure Chic was actually fighting fearlessly throughout. And also rips don't move the very same in space ...It's challenging to illustrate exactly how it really feels to be the only American completely off the planet each time including this. The feeling that I should exist with every one of you, managing this, assisting somehow, is actually difficult. I know that our experts perform the threshold (or even beyond) of an awful shift in the background of the world. A lot of things are going to certainly never coincide once again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not just for the manies thousand and countless individuals directly had an effect on through these horrible actions of terrorism, but perhaps for everybody. Our experts will definitely discover our own selves feeling in a different way concerning dozens of traits, including possibly area exploration, regrettably.It is actually horrible to observe smoke putting coming from wounds in your very own country from such an amazing viewpoint. The duality of getting on a spacecraft devoted to boosting daily life on the earth and watching life being damaged by such purposeful, horrible process is actually jolting to the subconscious, regardless of that you are actually. And also the expertise that whatever will definitely be actually different than when our company launched due to the time we land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I have confidence in our country and also in our leadership that we will certainly do every little thing possible to much better safeguard her as well as our family members, as well as to bring justice of what has been performed. I have assurance that the excellent individuals at NASA will definitely perform whatever important to proceed our mission carefully and also return our company safely at the right time. And also I skip all of you quite. I can not be there along with you in person, and also our experts possess a very long way to visit finish our purpose, yet be specific that my soul is with you, and know you remain in my prayers.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the final character ... Thankfully, it's been a hectic week up listed below. And to show that, like our nation, our team are continuing our intended road along with company customarily (as long as achievable). Tonight the current add-on to the station, the Russian Docking Compartment will definitely be introduced from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (US opportunity), it is going to dock along with us, at a port never utilized before on the nadir side of the Solution Module. This brand-new element will definitely give our company one more place to dock an Improvement or Soyuz and also are going to deliver a huge airlock with 2 useable hatches for performing EVA's in Russian Orlan matches, which we will definitely carry out a few of before we return.The complication just before in coping with today was actually too little news. The problem today is too much. It came at one time when email was rejuvenated, and also there is actually inadequate time to review all of it! Plus it's also hard to manage all of it at once. But I appreciate acquiring it, and I really value the excellent letters of help and relationship I am actually obtaining.Our team are prospering aboard, acquiring our work performed, as well as referring to things. Last evening we had a lengthy dialogue over dinner concerning the significance of these activities, the achievable activities to observe, and also what need to be actually performed. After supper, Michael challenged telling me that every email he received coming from good friends in Russia mentioned specifically to inform me just how sorry they were actually that this taken place, expanding their condolences, as well as talking to exactly how I was actually performing. Vladimir showed me the Russian word for "condolences" after talking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian as well as the English phrases are a lot very lengthy to pronounce conveniently.) Really type individuals.For the final 2 days, the Russian MCC has sufficed to send live programs of radio information concerning the occasion and also affiliated stories, to see to it I was actually properly informed. Every expert that has actually begun free throw line to explain a method or even a concern has at some point extended hellos to me with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our team that because of the wedding day of recognition in the US, all day individuals had actually been carrying flowers and lining all the walls of the United States embassy in Moscow, and this night they were igniting candlesticks in the road outside the embassy. How the planet has modified.Folks almost everywhere seem to realize the senselessness and also horror in this attack. And the significant reduction. Moscow has actually dealt with these kind of concerns in the final few years along with apartment as well as subway bombings, so they are actually as troubled to do away with this hazard as our company are. However all-time low collection is actually that there are actually really good individuals almost everywhere that wish to stay in calmness. I go through that a youngster asked, "The United States is so excellent to other nations, our experts consistently assist everybody, just how can they dislike us a great deal?".I hope the example of teamwork and also depend on that this space capsule and all people in the program illustrate daily are going to one day inspire the remainder of the planet to function the same way. They must!Sadly, our team won't be actually taking flight over the US while individuals are actually igniting candlesticks. Do not recognize if our experts might find that anyhow. Our experts carried out, having said that, observe a very unique as well as beautiful attraction a handful of mins ago: the launch of our Docking Area on a Soyuz booster. Our experts were actually surpassing it and it came into view regarding 3 moments after its own launch from Baikonur as the sunlight hit our terminal, so it was still unaware. It seemed like a sizable comet along with a straight, broad tail silhouetted versus the darker planet beneath. Even with some bad lighting for a while as the sun hit our home window at a reduced angle, I dealt with some online video of it as to begin with our team passed the rocket, and after that enjoyed it begin to mesmerize as it acquired altitude and speed. I filmed until principal motor deadline and enhancer splitting up happened just like we moved toward sunup on the Himalayas. An extraordinary sight in an unforgettable week ...Life takes place, even in space. Our experts are actually here to remain ... Frank.